A Daughter's Confession

Papa, if ever the world turns against me,

Will you be with me? 

Will you be with me when my hand trembles and I can't speak? 

When I'm weak and can't fight for myself? 

Will you fight for me? 

Will you ever judge me for my past mistakes? 

Can my eyes potray my innocence and foolishness I did before? 

Can you ever forgive me for the mess I made long time ago? 

I fear my world might turn upside down

If my past sins are exposed

I fear to face the world, and I wish

I wish I had a way to ESCAPE

Escape from everything and start it new

It haunts me, everytime I want to breathe fresh

I want to live, and am dying to exist

They'll kill me, kill me with humiliation

Question my modesty, play with my reputation

But I was a child back then I didn't know

To be a woman is really hard though

I can feel my throat getting strangled

I dream of death, darkness, and murder

As if someone's gonna end me harshly

They'll wrap me up with humiliation

I know it's a shame, but it was long back then

After all that I want to grow, to be watered daily

To flourish and touch the blue above

But all that storm I can see, blocking my way

And humans trying to cut me off from the base

How will I reach that far if every time

A calamity comes my way

Am ambitious I know but I don't deserve

An end like Macbeth, and he a brave warrior still fooled by witches

I'm merely a human fooled by Iblees

And when I'm on my way to good

And got my Almighty's back

Of what do I fear? Their swords won't pass through my neck

I believe they can't kill me unless He wants

And thereby I fear none, 

It's always me and my Almighty against the world

But I fear that emptiness, that emptiness

When my close ones will leave my side

So do I ask...Will you ever leave me alone? 

Despite all that dirt thrown at me

Will you take me HOME? 

Will I...ever reach HOME...?

- Shahnaz Nasir